Diary of an Average Student

Kate Harris, Miss Average Uni Student, shares her average student week - including auctioning sports students, and wee in her hair.

















Monday:
Spent lazy morning in bed followed by far too much American Dad ( I think I am going to rot my brain with cartoons) and some sugary cereal to wake me up for a two hour lecture on “Themes of modernity in twentieth century American Literature” – clearly going to be helpful to a future career… Watched copious amounts of TV and Twilight. I don’t really understand the obsession with a dead man who is 109, dating a 17 year old. Creepy much? Or a dog: imagine the smell! It’s all about these little Twihards who get so excited by Robert Pattinson. (Sex symbol? His face looks like he’s been hit with a frying pan.)

Tuesday:
No lectures today. Went to the library to write part of my dissertation and managed all of 200 out of 10,000 words. I’m doing well. Spent most of the day chatting to people and chatting on Facebook. Yes, procrastination is my middle name.

Wednesday:
Wednesday night at my second job – student bar. It’s always a busy night as the sports students head out into town. Mind you, the bad chat up lines make my day. I mean, do these lads genuinely believe that is going to work? Perhaps when they say these things they expect me to vault over the bar, rip my top off and jump on them?

Got home at around about 1am after having a very funny water fight in the bar while closing with my manager – totally soaked. Lesson learned? Never throw a shot glass of water at your manager, or he will spray you with a soda gun.

Thursday:
Another day of attempting assignments and actually made some progress! Hid myself in my room all day and powered through with numerous cups of tea.
Lecture in the afternoon ‘Attitudes to sex in the inter-war years in Britain’ proved to be hilarious. When my lecturer said that porn in this era was “stealthy” I couldn’t help but say “NINJA PORN” very loudly. My maturity levels are just astonishing.

Friday:
Pretty average day at uni; managed to get some dissertation reading done before “bumping into” friends from my course and then spending the next two hours sat in the refectory eating lunch.

Work again this evening. The Cricket team were having a fundraiser so we were mega busy. Turned out to be a fun night with live music, and the players all got auctioned off to some very keen girls (and boys!!) after one boy said that whoever bought him could wax him anywhere, and one offered to cook naked… There were some very high bids for those two!

Saturday:
Getting up at 7.30am after my late night shift wasn’t fun. Normally love my little Saturday (rather posh) shoe shop job, but today was a particularly irritating day. Far too many rich kids from the local private schools telling me they wanted loafers and “Daddy will pay on the Coutts card.” To top it off I had a child decide to grab its own sodden nappy and rub the contents in my hair. Caused much hilarity with fellow shoe fitters as it always seems to happen to me… Put me in the worst mood.

Got home and washed my hair five times. No matter how much I washed it I still felt there could be traces of what that child had left in it. Went to bed early in a total grump from the day of rich kids and wee.

Sunday:
Felt very festive while cooking and started listening to Bing Crosby. It’s far too early but I’m beyond excited about Christmas. We couldn’t resist putting up the Christmas tree. Had possibly one of the most hilarious conversations of my life while watching Q.I (apparently general knowledge shows are not my housemates forte!)

Me: ‘Cambria, that’s the answer.’
Cathie: ‘What, as in the cheese?’
Me: ‘No… as in the traditional name for Wales…’
Sarah: ‘No Cathie, I think you mean Cathedral City’

I think this just sums up my week: absolutely ridiculous.